Gratitude

For the past 20 years, I've followed the practice of keeping a gratitude journal. Each day, I make a note of of 3-5 things from that day which have caused me to feel grateful. In this way I've trained my eyes (and my heart) to look for those oft-hidden gems that occur throughout the day and, as a result, my perspective has become sharper and more in tune with life's inherent goodness.

Beyond this, I've not made a study of gratitude though, of course, I'm aware of the increased social interest in the topic, as a generation of seekers work to foster an 'attitude of gratitude' in themselves and their children.

A person of interest to me is Brother David Steindl-Rast O.S.B. (pictured above). Presently living a monastic life in a Benedictine community in New York, I believe a most interesting accomplishments of Brother David was his Vatican-approved participation in a Buddhist-Christian dialogue. He was given the 1975 Martin Buber Award for his achievements in building bridges between religious traditions.

I recently came across an essay by Brother David entitled Are You Thankful or Are You Grateful? Brother David distinguishes between the two states of mind in this way:

"Remember a night when you stood outdoors looking up at the stars, countless in the high, silent dome of the sky, and saw them as if for the first time. What happened? Eugene O'Neill puts it this way: "For a moment I lost myself – actually lost my life. I was set free! I dissolved in the...high dim-starred sky! I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, within something greater than my own life...to Life itself! To God, if you want to put it that way." [You may have good reasons for not putting it that way, for not using the G-word, but in any case you have caught a glimpse of "something greater" than your limited self.]"For a second you see – and seeing the secret, are the secret. For a second there is meaning!"

In the second that follows, you may hear your heart calling out, "Thank you, thank you!" – "to God, if you want to put it that way," or to no one in particular. But let us steady our focus on the first second, the second of gratefulness before thankfulness. Why do I call that wild joy of belonging "gratefulness"? Because it is our full appreciation of something altogether unearned, utterly gratuitous -- life, existence, ultimate belonging – and this is the literal meaning of grate-full-ness. In a moment of gratefulness, you do not discriminate. You fully accept the whole of this given universe, as you are fully one with the whole.

In the very next moment, when the fullness of gratitude overflows into thanksgiving, the oneness you were experiencing is breaking up. Now you are beginning to think in terms of giver, gift, and receiver. Gratefulness turns into thankfulness. This is a different fullness. A moment ago you were fully aware; now you are thoughtful. Gratefulness is full awareness; thankfulness is thoughtfulness."

Prior to reading this article, I hadn't considered a distinction between gratitude and thankfulness but Brother David's word's prompted me to take a closer look at my own experience of gratitude.

A personal experience that causes me an astonishing level of gratitude is driving my battery-powered wheelchair/scooter outside on a beautiful sunny day. I acquired the scooter at the beginning of the summer and so driving it is still very much a novelty. After ten years of a experiencing a declining inability to walk and having reached the point of being able to walk less than half a block with the assistance of a walker, the sheer pleasure of being able to move through space without pain or discomfort is a joy unmatched.

First of all, I watched my emotional reaction to the experience of scooting. I witnessed an initial joy and extreme gratitude, followed quickly by an inner-dialogue of thankfulness (thank-you God and Goddess, thank-you Jesus, Mary, Joseph, thank-you guardian angel, thank-you universe, thank you Dave and Winston for helping me find such a good bargain, thank-you higher power, thank-you thank-you).

Then, after establishing my typical "set-response" to the experience, I set about, on subsequent occasions, to prolong my sense of gratitude before allowing my feelings to spill over into thankfulness. Through a series of experiments, I discovered that gratitude and thankfulness are indeed distinct states of mind, though they mix well together to form a prayer or a song.

I feel richer for having identified that aspect of my inner-landscape. Though I'm not a completely self-indulgent person, I do enjoy making my aquaintance.